Idk

DISCLAIMER : DO NOT READ THIS. And take me seriously when I warn you.
Someone told me at one point of time, ‘Always indulge in what you love the most, because when in a state of crisis it is that passion that keeps you solvent’…
I have been religiously practicing this philosophy for a long time now. And this philosophy has helped me in ways incredible and in ways unfathomable.
The state of crisis today is that of apathy and sloth. But now has come a time when my passion, if ever there was one, is no longer alive. It no longer rekindles the flame. It no longer gives me that push to do something.  To do something worthwhile (read: worthless for the rest of the world).
Yeah , today words fail  me and I (most miserably) fail them. (It’s entirely mutual, for a change).
 There is a yawning void staring at me. Not the void that would make you feel nostalgic or emotional or any of those things, but the void that will make you feel listless.  Yes, listless. It’s one crazy void.
And it’s not even that I don’t feel like doing anything, I want to do something (To shove off this inactivity); and in fact there IS a lot to do.  I am sure there is some surge simmering inside .But what? I do not know (idk)*. And even if I had known , it would have been  a ‘to do or not to do’ situation..
Idk what I am blabbering at this moment. I am just too convoluted,…with what? idk. :D. But I cannot care less. There are no thoughts and whatever some there were have all disappeared into thin air. Now who would give me company in this languid state? idk…
I have grown peevishly indolent, blatantly ignorant and perpetually insolent (WHAT a shameful attempt to rhyme)… about the world around me, including me. You do, you do not do, I do, I do not do…who cares???  Dayum Life*! It’s so good to be   nonexistent. In fact, I am the nonexistent.

PS: You cannot blame me for this post, Courtesy : the disclaimer And ,Hats off to you if you managed to come this far.
*PPS : idk = I don’t know ; Dayum = Damn (I  just learnt these slangs from someone. :D)
PPPS = I wrote this in one (listless) hour. Before posting this I had typed my other account’s password for blogger password! For a moment I was like-“Dayum! idk my password!”
 Phewww…Anyway,so much for a listless talk.

Comments

Cяystal said…
Dayum! Really.
Waaaaaasssaup?
I know words of wisdom fail at times of crisis, but you're strong and you know it, so keep your feet to the ground and don't lose hope. This too shall pass.

Lots of love. Always!
Kunal said…
:) :)

I am not going to say...brilliant post..brilliant read etc etc etc..because...it is never pretty to know about someone that he/she is feeling listless or feeling void..

That said..this situation is not so bad to be in. I would say...it is bliss sometimes..to be non-existent. I say, 'Don't Force it'. Don't try to come out of it. The harder you may try..the more listless..you may become..Let it move forward in its own momentum..Like all things...it has to go too..

But, off course..ydnh to listen to me.. :)

May be..Talking to someone..who listens well...will ease the situation a bit...i.e if you want the situation to ease...till then..relish it. :)

Smile. Always :)
Rahul said…
they say something funny or humorous always fires up the motivational centers of the brain...problem is i don't have anything funny to offer u...but yep...if u re in the mood to entertain some nonsense..:-D there is a monumentally cranky blogspot waiting for you to drop by....;-)
Nasnin Nasser said…
Somewhere in this post it echoed like Hamlet! "To be or not to be, that's the question"..."to do or not to do...". It also reminded me of something which I have jotted down from Austen's 'Emma' sometime back at my early teens;
"The sensation of listlessness, weariness, stupidity, this inabiltity to sit down and do anything,…this feeling that everything around the house is dull and insipid when it never was before…"
I copied these lines because it reflected exactly my state at some weary "dayum" moments!

It's so wonderfully strange that we tend to write when we are most disturbed and restless! Fall in it and get burnt and then rise up! It has it's own beauty!

Love and regards dear! Again you gave me something which evince my "shadow"! Sweet disturbances!
ajay said…
I blatantly ignored the disclaimer and went ahead and read the post. It was good, needless to say, but don't ask how because dayum idk :D I hope this little piece of writing served to make you slough off the dreary listlessness :)
ajay said…
I couldn't help but notice the word solvent. Financial jargon :D Open a credit line of enthusiasm and splurge :P
Bikramjit said…
phewww managed to read the whole of it :)

how i did it IDK :) he he

dont worry keep the faith things will happen when they have to happen simple :)

Bikram's
Saru Singhal said…
Stuti, I have this feeling for over a month now. I push myself so hard to do everything. And, IDK, is the most appeared phrase in my diary.

IDK, what I am doing from so many days, may be, flowing with the current or the current sweeps me. Total loss of everything. I have to find an apartment, entire day I search online and IDK why I cancel the appointment. Totally understand what you feel.

The poetry effect was good:)
Lady*♥*Fiona said…
I just took my hat off but not because I read this all the way to the end. On the contrary, I am applauding your effort, honesty, humour (intentional or not) and your dayuum good writing skills, even in a state of listlessness!!! :)

Been there too many dayumm times in my life and I refer to this state of mind and body as my 'sluggy uggy' episodes :D Good news is that it's a temporary state.

RX: Time, patience, a good ear if needed, exercise, tons of H20 <- - it has done wonders for me in the past, seriously! If all else fails or doesn't fail, eat chocolate - ALWAYS! :D

Hope this brought a few smiles your way, dear Stuti :) Thinking of you and sending you lots of love and hugs, my dear ♥
Kunal said…
Lady Fiona:

I think..you fell just short of writing a book here again...Why..oh Why?

You should have written a book here too...you know..we love reading your books. :)
Paul said…
Listfulness, crazy void, dull, the lack of motivation = "A duvet day". Yip, climb under that duvet and in return it shall soak up all negative vibes and you will re-emerge with hyperactive enthusiastic motivation..

Also take Fionas advice, lots and lots of chocolate (Health warning:- must be eaten in moderation ;o)

----------------------------------

Its now a day later since your post so I hope you awoke to a new day with a giant sparkle.

Best wishes. Paul :)
ashok said…
Idk what to say!
This comment has been removed by the author.
A grain of sand said…
@Crystal: I hope it passes soon :)and (not)fretting is not under my control :D,thanks:)

@Kunal: Thanks,I like listening to Professors ;) :P :D...and I guess you should be knowing that I am not evading(not even trying to evade) this state :D

@Rahul: so sweet of you..and that blog of yours is side splitting at times,l sure revisit it,thanks :)
A grain of sand said…
@Nasnin : I AM SO GLAD YOU COULD GET THE 'HAMLET' BIT :), yes it kind of echoed 'to be or not to be' :), I am proud that people like you read my stuffs:)
Jane Austin has been my fav!!! and I remember that quote..I had loved Emma even when I read it as a kid :D

thanks dear, your comments instantly strike a chord:)
A grain of sand said…
@Ajay: you couldn't have done that either :P... did you not notice that the post came up when you reminded me the abandoned state of my blog :D

and yes 'splurge'I do, but with what..dayumm idk :D..(I can't do with my indolence, money I don't have :D)

@Bikram : thanks a lot:)
A grain of sand said…
@Saru: If you say the poetry effect was good then I'd rather not argue :D :D
thanks for understanding the state..I hope you bounce back to your normal self soon,thanks :)

@Fiona : I am quite pleasantly surprised that you could find humour in a listless writing :):) thanks a lot!:)...

And chocolates.....aahhh..well you shouldn't have advised me this AT ALL... :D My whole slimming regime will now go for a toss :( ....because there is 'control' in my dict :D
A grain of sand said…
@Paul : I think even if things are being better they are in 'quasistatic' (infinitely slow) way...So I can't say much here...

As for the chocolates, I will try to stick to your health warning :D, thanks:)


@Ashok: i would take that as a compliment :) thanks for dropping by :)
A grain of sand said…
@Siddhartha: I AM SO SORRY,I accidentally deleted your comment.

But m grateful and surprised that you found this listless post a nice read :)thanks!
Lady*♥*Fiona said…
@Kunal ~ IDK! L:DL!
SUB said…
didn't take u seriously...

in sooth i know not why i am so sad.....it wearies me, you say it wearies you....

but i guess you are not sad...you are just non-existent....:)
Shoaib said…
you have a cool blog ..:)
A grain of sand said…
@SUB : True!:)

@Shoaib : thanks, and thanks for dropping by :)
Purba said…
No one has expressed their state of ennui this articulately.

It's your mind recharging - let it be :)
Raj said…
It is quite difficult to pen down a state of apathy and it does make me sad. But then in that yawning void that is staring at you, I am sure you will find a breeze that will gently take you out to your usual self again.

The listless hour sure will pass!
Rahul Bhatia said…
Stuti, Such an honest post! A turbulent mind often becomes indecisive! A cooling time brings back the calmness..Await your writings..
Cяystal said…
I know.
Still, take care.

You know I love you.:*
*Tight hug*
When words fail, it's the worst moment. But it does pass, right :)

So come back with a great post :D Cause when words fail, when they start coming, they come even better :)
A grain of sand said…
@Purba: mind recharging? or mind discharged? :D,thanks a lot!

@Raj: I hope to find that breeze soon:)

@Crystal: thanks again :)

@Philo: i wish every word you said there is true! :)
Zeba said…
Wow. WOW. And your 'attempt' to rhyme wasn't bad at all. :-)
Zeba said…
Way to put something like this to words..
Sourav said…
And at times 'IDK' is the wisest state of mind to be in :)

Dayum, tell me you agree :P
hahahah ....it happens sometimes but yes i loved your honesty....but most of the time reality comes forth only when we are writing from heart to hand , not brain to hand............nyways my mind feels stronger after reading this
Great blog, very nice.
A grain of sand said…
@Zeba: Coming from you , it means a lot, thanks :)

@Sourav: haha, may be who knows! :D

@A guilty conscience: I am glad your mind has strengthened after this, thanks a lot for dropping by. I will be looking forward to more visits:)

@Bengts : thanks, and thanks for coming here!
Prime Aque said…
This is not listless, because this happened to me too, you just wrote the right thing, and I must say, you are a true blogger because you come here, courageous to tell you feeling deep inside with the pretty disclaimer above, an intriguing warning I must say! I will not miss to tell you, people (readers) love you because you are you, you never pretend.... and that make me write my comment this very moment! When I feel empty, when I feel dead, when I feel that everything is just falling apart, when I feel the weariness deep within me, when I feel that everything is just being messed up, I learned to take a deep breath, I learned to let go, I learned to let myself be dead for a moment... and then I let myself feel the reality once more... I accept that life is about ups and downs, it's a wheel... there is a great feeling and there is worst, I learned to be thankful for those who can lift me up, and find a smart way how to turn sadness some pretty smile on my face. Have a great evening my friend!
A grain of sand said…
@Prime Aque: Thank you for that lovely comment! I am so glad that you could read between the posts well enough to come up with that 'honesty' bit...but then what is that place where you cannot be yourself? :)An alien land,perhaps.
Thanks for dropping by.
Prime Aque said…
There are time that we can be dishonest to ourselves, and I must admit it, because sometimes I want to pretend 'as if' everything is in place for example, because you know 'reality' can have a good bite at my ass :) sorry for the term my friend, but anyway thanks for following my blog :)

Anyway, you cannot be listless (a proof), I read your comments at Princess Fiona's post, I was speechless! You are the best of you!
Rohit said…
I stumbled upon your blog and
yes i did managed to come to the line that said the same!
hmm...frankly speaking couldn't understand what is this post about and kept searching for this very reason throughout..its only in the last few lines that i got the hang of things!"a listless void topic"
clever clever writing..very gud orator u must be:):)
Rohit
floating-expressions.blogspot.com
It will be true :) Just start penning girl! Cause we're waiting :)
A grain of sand said…
@Prime: thank you:)

@Rohit:i would take that as a compliment :)

@Philo: I wouldn't keep you waiting for too long, thanks so much :)

@Crystal: idk the answer to that question, infact i have never known that :D...thanks for the concern :)
Kumar Bibek said…
At times, the train is off the track. And it doesn't matter if it runs on a terrain not favorable for it for some time, but finally, some way or the other, it gets back on track.

Ah!!! forget what I have just blabbered. I am sleepy. :(
@Stuti ~ You've seriously never known? :P :D

@Kumar ~ Sleepy or not, that was FANTASTIC! Our gorgeous grain of sand will get back on track soon :) :)
A grain of sand said…
@Kumar: it doeS

@Fiona: have to admit no:)...its a pleasure to see your comments here:)
Abhay Patel said…
Nice post. I really like it. Thank you for sharing.


Business consultants in Mumbai
A grain of sand said…
Thank you so much Abhay! Thanks for dropping by.

Popular posts from this blog

THE UMBILICAL CORD

मुझे नहीं पता

And, that's the Thing about Feelings