A Letter to me
Have you been? I
know it has been a while that I absented myself from this space, but I was busy
traveling month after month.
However,
I am back now. I will relate my travelogues soon, but before that I have something
important to write to you; something which I have been musing a lot over the
past few days and wish to share with you.
So, how was it
turning 17 last year? Birthdays are all about friends and festivities today.
Please know that this is great and it is okay to indulge in it as much as you
can now; you will have all the time to be recluse and quiet later in your life.
You will slowly learn it is possible to enjoy the silence in the same way as
you enjoy the sound today.
I know you don’t understand companionship the way others
do right now, and somehow have a penchant for being lost in a crowd, and
erecting boundaries all around you, but these times and these friends won’t last 10 years from now. Except some- and
those bonds will transcend all barriers of time and space; but even they will get
busy with their lives and so will you. So cherish and enjoy to the hilt the
moment that is now; and trust me when I
say this - there is nothing better than going splits over recollecting fond,
old memories in a friend’s bachelorette in Phi Phi Islands, some 10 years
after.
I know you are
stressed with your college applications and about what your future beholds.
Know that it is okay to not know everything. And believe that you have a promising
career ahead of you, because you do. So, don’t fret too much and just stay true to
yourself in whatever you do. And most importantly, have your own dream and live
it; don’t buckle under the
pressure of someone else’ dream. That’s not you and you will never enjoy doing
it for long.
You will stay
indecisive even after completing college and will continue to harbour doubts and
give into experimenting. You will regard yourself as an epitome of confusion
and loathe yourself for being that. But know that being indecisive is okay;
refraining from making a decision is not.
I know that your
high school crush makes you go weak in your knees today and you are consumed by
his thoughts all the time. You think you are living a perfect love story and
that you will marry him one day. But no, you will not. He will marry someone
else and have a child before you even think of marrying. And I won’t be honest
if I say that you will be okay being a stoic because you will not be. But you will
move past this and years later, when you will run into him with his kid in that
old book shop of the city you grew up in, you will find yourself laughing at
the feelings which you take so seriously today.
Sometimes, you
will hurt people you love even when you have no intention of doing so. And you
will beat yourself up for it. But you will understand that sometimes life
doesn’t give you much choice, so try not to overthink. But you will overthink
anyway and you won’t like it. And then there will be times when you will be
hurt too. You will understand pain in ways you never understood before. And,
the uncanny knack of attracting complications that you have will only take
deeper roots in years to come. You will try hard to unravel the web and it will
confound you. But please know and trust that with some patience and strength,
you will break through all these destructive patterns -so give staying calm a try.
I know you feel
that you are less worthy when it comes to how you look. In some years,
there will be people who will underpin this for you and yes, their opinion will
affect you. Sever ties from such people right away, but you will wallow in this for some time before realizing that people who love you will love you anyway. And
those are the ones who will make you feel amazing despite how you look.
You will realize
that love is very different from what you’ve read in books so far. You will know
love as an ecstasy, a passion, a storm and silence. You will then know love as
a constant undercurrent in your life, an inspiration, a haven of trust and
stability. You will learn to give second chances, first to yourself then to
anyone else. And then, you will do what you considered as impossible.
You love staying
nestled amongst your novels today; you read them even between your pre-boards. You
will develop a stronger love for paper books and the written word despite
electronic reading becoming a vogue. In a few years from now, you will also plan travel
to places near and far and find a lost love in traveling. Contrary to what you
think today, you will become an independent traveler and thoroughly immerse
yourself in the experience of the places you travel to. You will indulge in humour, but also wish that if only you had not slept in your geography classes
and were more attentive then.
You will
not only travel but also write about the places you travel to. So do not ignore
the little sparks of creativity that you harbour. Writing in some years will
become an extension of you, a catharsis, and a refuge. And while you do this,
there will be people who will undermine your efforts or probably not give them
their due. Try to ignore them; because that’s the best you can and should do
at times. However, there will be people who will not only applaud you in your
endeavours but also encourage and propel you to do more. More often than not,
you will take their support for granted- sometimes, because of dearth of time,
and sometimes, because of dearth of enough thought. But, whenever you get your head
right, do express your gratitude to all these gems in your life - including your parents, amongst others. Because, whilst
what you do with your life is very important, who you do it with is even more
important.
So take care and
believe in yourself.
Yours truly,
27 year old Me.
What would you tell your 10 year younger self? Write about it and let me know :-)
What would you tell your 10 year younger self? Write about it and let me know :-)
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